physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
