whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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