I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
