I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
