I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
