he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
