My first STD was from a foam party
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
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