So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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