Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
