the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
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They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
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Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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