Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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