He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
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Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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