he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize