i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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