We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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