and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
