my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize