If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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