from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
