It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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