Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
