And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
