he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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