Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
