I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
