If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
