If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize