fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
