He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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