GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
