Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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