Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
