Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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