is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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