I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
