I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
