I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
