when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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