Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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