in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
