guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
