Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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