Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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