Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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