boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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