So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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