No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
