But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
