so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
