he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
