she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
