Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.

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  (248): Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too. http://tfl.nu/c23w
  Replies (9) Good night (2396) Bad night (792)
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  (909): View more from California

  College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.

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  (909): College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe. http://tfl.nu/4iki
  Replies (50) Good night (11018) Bad night (1002)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.

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  (812): dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere. http://tfl.nu/598l
  Replies (20) Good night (655) Bad night (3956)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!

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  (605): Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?! http://tfl.nu/u19h
  Replies (13) Good night (4218) Bad night (569)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?

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  (703): I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you? http://tfl.nu/lfio
  Replies (72) Good night (21089) Bad night (3763)
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  (310): View more from California

  So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.

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  (310): So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he. http://tfl.nu/52vb
  Replies (51) Good night (15100) Bad night (2382)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.

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  (405): You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts. http://tfl.nu/ijh6
  Replies (14) Good night (4441) Bad night (1248)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.

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  (313): He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings. http://tfl.nu/w72z
  Replies (6) Good night (2189) Bad night (830)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.

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  (206): Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun. http://tfl.nu/5ck8
  Replies (19) Good night (1756) Bad night (690)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement

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  (231): I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement http://tfl.nu/2xwy
  Replies (6) Good night (1782) Bad night (485)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can

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  (604): Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can http://tfl.nu/fug3
  Replies (6) Good night (1095) Bad night (596)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.

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  (806): It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there. http://tfl.nu/4q4i
  Replies (8) Good night (406) Bad night (1333)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent

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  (+64): I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent http://tfl.nu/sl7e
  Replies (2) Good night (791) Bad night (344)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!

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  (660): Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription! http://tfl.nu/if8j
  Replies (4) Good night (850) Bad night (222)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"

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  (978): I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it" (978): or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored" http://tfl.nu/zr7x
  Replies (3) Good night (723) Bad night (463)

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