That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.