I hate ducks.
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.