Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.

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  (586): sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey. http://tfl.nu/7b75
  Replies (15) Good night (3633) Bad night (654)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.

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  (651): make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS. (1-651): I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much. http://tfl.nu/xzl0
  Replies (40) Good night (3906) Bad night (5095)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Tell me the dirtiest joke you know

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  Sarah Palin

  (907): View more from Alaska

  god, I love you

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  (907): Tell me the dirtiest joke you know (1-907): Sarah Palin (907): god, I love you http://tfl.nu/fmd4
  Replies (101) Good night (10629) Bad night (1374)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious

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  (732): she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious http://tfl.nu/xtk1
  Replies (47) Good night (2818) Bad night (11401)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.

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  (503): Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress. http://tfl.nu/96cb
  Replies (24) Good night (4839) Bad night (1474)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire

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  (419): On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire http://tfl.nu/uiq5
  Replies (4) Good night (1253) Bad night (1133)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.

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  (918): I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control. http://tfl.nu/enjx
  Replies (4) Good night (1133) Bad night (512)
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  (707): View more from California

  I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.

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  (707): I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night. http://tfl.nu/by2p
  Replies (3) Good night (1653) Bad night (512)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?

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  (319): dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone? http://tfl.nu/6czx
  Replies (6) Good night (1345) Bad night (468)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST

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  (757): HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST http://tfl.nu/fouh
  Replies (4) Good night (602) Bad night (1177)
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  (310): View more from California

  We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.

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  (310): We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us. http://tfl.nu/nid9
  Replies (3) Good night (459) Bad night (866)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  That d should have definitely been an s.

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  (614): I just watched my mom get dick on Skype. (614): That d should have definitely been an s. http://tfl.nu/dkna
  Replies (9) Good night (1182) Bad night (732)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.

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  (403): Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts. http://tfl.nu/53ih
  Replies (4) Good night (734) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Are you proud of yourself?

  (407): View more from Florida

  ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.

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  (772): Are you proud of yourself? (407): ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off. http://tfl.nu/2m9x
  Replies (2) Good night (962) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.

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  (202): It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE. http://tfl.nu/cbed
  Replies (6) Good night (342) Bad night (1127)

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