Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
