I hate your face
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.