yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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