I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
