saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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