Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
even my farts smell like vagina
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I didn't notice because vodka
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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