he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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