There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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