I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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