Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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