You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
