Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
