Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
as a side note pls kill me
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize