He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The Olympian is in my bed
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