You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Cover your peen. We're going out.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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