i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
